Sunday, May 31, 2015

Head in the clouds


photo by anton pinchuk


On my knees, I taste rain
as your clouds
                       abrade my lips;
lightning racing
                                ---  the ridge
                                             of my tongue.



43 comments:

  1. Beautiful language here. 'Taste rain as your clouds' is lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sensuous and brilliant, and a very solid metaphor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rain has a taste all of its own. This is a love poem filled with feeling. Our lips and tongues are so sensitive to touch... Nice one! Love the lightning racing - wow!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very very strong metaphor.. I read it several times, and each time I imagined different narratives.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Praise Jesus. You know how to spell "lightning." And that big fat "O" at the beginning says you must be good at other things too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You disappeared on me again. Where do your words reside now, Friday. Checked out your friend Ann this morning.

      Delete
    2. She's cool, isn't she? She loves it when I disappear because she knows it means something fun is coming around the corner. At the moment, though, my words are just engaging in head-play.

      Delete
  6. can be magic when lightning strikes..tasting the rain on one lips can be sensual and pleasurable, I guess it depends on how we feel the rain.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I dig your work X - you don't mess around!

    ReplyDelete
  8. A beautifully intense piece :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is passionate and intense!

    mindlovemisery

    ReplyDelete
  10. So good with brief poetry, too--that multiplies/reproduces images.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The taste of rain............your poem brought my commenting to a pause as my brain went off on a tangent, dimly remembered, LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nice :) I wrote you back but didn't hear back..... I hope you are okay

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wowza.....this is one hot storm :-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. A wonderful poem....tasting rain as it splits across our senses.

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lovely and nuanced - a lot of layers in these few words.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lovely sounds in this especially--and a sense of homonyms--! k.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Works at many levels.. different images here.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great power in this...and also some love.

    Thanks for visiting.

    ReplyDelete
  19. oh my goodness... so deeply intimate and love the images you use... the clouds, rain..some lightning just by reading...need to go back to bed...oy

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Shall I compare thee to a summers day?" better perhaps when it is more stormy?

    ReplyDelete
  21. you have wonderful insight. i bet your heart beats with every crack of thunder and every twitter of a leaf blowing in the wind

    gracias

    ReplyDelete
  22. absolutely sensual. that "O" has quite a meaning :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. WOW...this is so powerful...so utterly sensual...and multi-layered.
    Oh how I love this...:)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Very sensuous, evocative, sexy and oh yes metaphoric. Good writing!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I agree with Myrna. Love the metaphors.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I immediately thought about the discomfort, even revulsion, of dealing with that lightening. Many meanings layered here.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It could be tanka form, 5 lines.
    Lovely music, I can feel multiple refrain here...

    ReplyDelete
  28. I miss the sensuality of your words, smiles ~

    ReplyDelete
  29. Today I tasted the rain and immersed myself in the depths of clouds. Winter-summer in UK...Not so inspiring; but your poetic words, added a lively alternative view for me...
    Eileen

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh, nice lines! Very intense! I like it :)

    ReplyDelete