Friday, May 15, 2015

#2AM Tides

photo by Mike Sandells
 
 
She had hair like the ocean,
wave after wave curling in on itself
 
& as we talked
I felt each one thunder against the shore,
 
my lips thick with her salt.
 
 

23 comments:

  1. It's amazing how much more you can say in fewer words. There is certainly something magical about a woman's hair and a man's lips connecting, especially if she is a mythical sea creature.

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  2. Nice. I like that in your brevity you express much, yet leave much to the imagination. Good write!

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  3. The simile of the hair like the ocean, this one ripples with sensuality.. the 2AM title is such a brilliant one that becomes part of the poem..

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  4. Oh, this first image 'She had hair like the ocean,' and all details in the next lines - amazing!

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  5. Lovely!! The passion boils over!

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  6. that last line made my knees weak a bit.. hot!!

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  7. Wow! You've really captured the passion in few well-chosen words.

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  8. the visual comparison of her hair and ocean waves works perfectly & the last line...stunning.

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  9. very sensual the taste of salt on one's lips..

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  10. no more words were needed to evoke the sensuality and vivid imagery. wonderful!

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  11. Compression--when it works, it is a bit of a miracle. Now I'm hearing lines from Memory Motel--'down on the waterfront/her hair/all drenched/in spray.." the image is wild, warm as a summer wave.

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  12. I like the description of hair like the ocean.Great title, too.

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  13. I sometimes pine for that salty taste of a fluid ocean of passion born of a nights adventure.

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  14. Oh this is sexy love it!

    mindlovemisery

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  15. Ah yes the waves know much about stirring up passion.
    Excellent

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  16. Whoosh. Very convincing waves and salt!

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  17. Beautiful! To me she is the sea and the spray is the hair which washes over the writer. I love it!

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